I’ve been needing to write about Korea.
About my last year (or nearly a year — 10 1/2 months, technically) there — in South Korea, that is.
About how much it wasn’t what I was “looking for” or expecting, either from the program I did or my particular placement…about how many questions I still have that I thought would be a little more answered for me by now. About how I’m still trying to achieve a balance between rejoicing, accepting with gratitude, and being thankful for what was without also compromising honesty, or generating some sort of fake narrative about how “it was such a great, life-changing experience for me.”
Which perhaps it was – that last one, at least: life-changing. (But isn’t everything?) Only, I’m not really aware of the ways how it was so, yet — if I even ever will be.
This isn’t really writing about Korea, I guess. But a bit about post-Korea for me. Or my current post-Korea attitude. Painting with very broad brushstrokes here, I realize.
I find myself constantly sitting at a keyboard or with a notebook open (or any piece of blank paper) in front of me, pen in hand, as if I expect the words to manifest themselves from my fingertips that will, somehow, finally, answer everything.
Or at least just something.
But that’s not how it works. Not really. So – for now – I need to take a break from writing. Again.
Otherwise I’ll drive myself (more) crazy.
(Be back Monday/Tuesday?)